Dryer

We got a new tumble dryer right before EN was born which is about 2 weeks ago. It’s been some time since we bought a machine to help make our lives a little easier.

If there’s a chore I hate doing most, it has to be laundry, especially the part where you’ve to hang them out to dry, 8-P. Not to mention the lack of space in a condo, the dust in the balcony and a little one to contribute more to the amount of laundry.

So, this investment is definitely worth the while. It has saved us time and SL will definitely need that when she will face 3 children all by her own next month.

Thoughts on Children

These 2 days I’ve been thinking why I would want to have 3 kids. I don’t even look old enough to be a dad in the first place. People are shocked that I’m even married, let alone a dad.

Some earlier generation folks may want kids so that they’ll be well taken care of when they’re old and frail. Some may have kids in the hope that they’ll be given monthly allowances when their kids turn working adults. Some specifically want boys to carry on their good name. Well, we all know that these ideals/expectations are often out-of-reach. So why have kids in the first place and put up with all the trouble of raising them to know that there is a good chance of not achieving the ideals/expectations. These expectations aren’t the best reasons to have kids. Worse still, it causes strained relationships between children and parents at times.

A textbook answer would be, it’s God’s command to us to multiply. Personally for me, it would be the same reason to get married in the first place, companionship. I would like to see this companionship grow into a small community. It’s also love that drove us to have kids. God created us out of love and it’s natural for us to want to extend this love to our own offspring.

I don’t expect anything of out my kids for bringing them up. Of course, we teach our kids to be responsible and hope that they’ll love us and appreciate us when it’s our turn to need attention and care. However, it is my belief that the onus is on parents to bring them up with unconditional love, not expecting anything in return. It’s great if they’re grateful and decide to return the favour. If not, let’s remember that kids didn’t ask to be brought into this world, as unpleasant as it may sound.

Baby EN

Last night before going to bed, I was up for 40 hours straight. To say that I’m exhausted is a gross understatement. Furthermore, NN was having high fever after coming home from visiting SL in the hospital. I had my hands really full but thank God for my in-laws who were around.

It all started when SL and I were about to go to bed on 13/11 around midnight. Then, the contractions started to be more consistent. After 1 hour, we decided to call in my mum and aunt to look after NN and NN2 while we make our way to the hospital. That was around 1.45am on 14/11.

While at the hospital, we thought it would be a quick affair as it was already 3cm dilated. Minutes and hours went by and it was still 3cm dilated. SL’s doctor came in around 9+am and decided to start the induction to quicken the process. That was around 10.30am. Minutes and hours went by and again there was little progress. The pain is starting to be unbearable. At 2.30pm, the doctor checked and it was only 4cm dilated. We were all puzzled because after 12 hours in the labour room and 4 hours into the induction, we’ve only got 1cm progress. The baby’s head just wasn’t engaging into the pelvic.

At around 3pm and some discussions with the doctor, we decided that SL should go for C-section. Within the hour, baby EN came into his new world measuring 52cm and weighing in 3.42kg at around 3.45pm. I was in the operating theatre the whole time with SL. It was a whole new experience for me, though there were some moments of anxiety after I saw how baby EN was handled by the doctors. God is good and He is all-knowing because when baby EN was out and before the umbilical cord cut, all of us immediately knew why the natural delivery just didn’t happen. Yes to those of you who guessed it, the umbilical cord was around his neck 2 times!! There was no way he is coming out of the birth cannel. We thank God that we opted for the C-section procedure before it was too late. We thought we had a stubborn baby but it was something that was holding him back. Baby EN, welcome into your new world!!

Going Abroad

I’m surprised to hear more and more people are trying to “explore” abroad, or should I say get out of Malaysia. I’ve heard all sorts of reason ranging from better paying job to girlfriend to greener grass to getting out while you can.

I’ve also had my fair share of people asking me about my life abroad since SL and I had been very privileged to have the chance to live, study, and work abroad for 6 years literally on the opposite side of the world. My answer is always if you haven’t had the chance, by all means go ahead and try it. Never try, never know. For SL and me, we’ve not regretted one bit our decision to return home. Looking back, we see 6 years full of experience that we can only dream of having. The only regret we have is not having the chance of visiting our friends and relatives there anytime soon.

Going abroad to get away from Malaysia is not in my list of good reasons. What so bad about this nation, I wonder? Whatever it may be, we should not overlook the strengths and focus too narrowly on the weaknesses.

Best Improvement

Time flies and it’s coming to the end of NN’s year 4 schooling at Powerkids. I got a pleasant surprise last week while dropping her off at school. Her class teacher came up to me and told me that she got the Best Improvement award and ask me to attend the Awards’ Night with NN.

I feel the award implies that our attention, energy, patience and communication with her teacher all paid off, not so much that NN is becoming intelligent or anything like that (though that is our hope as well). Since NN’s year 3 and beginning of year 4 at Powerkids, let’s just say that NN is not the best at writing, learning and motor skills. Furthermore, she has this thing with her mind going blank when being pressured to perform certain task. SL is the one spending most time guiding her through her school work, though I also take over during the weekends. We had to be patient with her during times when she seemed slow to learn.

During the year 4 mid-term parents-teachers meeting, we had the opportunity to communicate with her class teacher regarding her “weakness” and shared with her what works well with NN when it comes to learning. This is how parents and teachers can play a role together in the development of a child. I know there are a lot of “system” out there to get our kids started early or learn quicker so as not to lose out in the “race”. To us, the most important system we need to get going is our involvement with our children. Flaws are always there in whatever education system but together with parents’ involvement, I believe it’ll work for the better.

We’ve always been against parents resting the responsibility of their child’s development solely on teachers, babysitters, church, grandparents, etc. Parents need to play a more active role, especially during these times when our jobs demand so much of us. Sometimes it may not be our jobs at all but parents who seek the easy way out rather than dealing with the nitty-gritty of bringing up a child. Instant solution is the boon and bane of our time. When it comes to children, it is definitely a bane.