Life Together as One and Beyond...: October 2005

Not What You Think

We’re fast approaching the 3rd month SL turned homemaker. Apparently, I don’t think any of our concerns/worries about going this route really materialized. So, we thank God and are glad that we heeded the prompting to make this turning point a reality.

We were encouraged by positive words from friends. Most recently is a friend who told SL that she admired our courage to embrace this change. Some thought it is easy since SL has all the time to herself. Well, not quite. She may be even busier (if not as busy) than when she was under employment.

Some thought we’ve stay-in maids, sorry we can’t afford that and don’t believe in them. We’ll do whatever we can ourselves. Most of the time, I’ll be doing dishes and laundry after coming home from work and dinner. In the weekends, I’ll be cleaning the floors. With an infant to care for, SL can’t cope with all the housework on her own.

Some thought SL can really sleep in. Sorry, can’t do that either. She has to be up before NN2 so that she can extract milk and start preparing for lunch. By late morning, she’ll need to pick up NN from school hauling along NN2. Still think it is easy?

What we didn’t expect when going this route is the little helps here and there graciously given by my mom and aunts. My mom will try to pick NN from school whenever she can. She also wanted to bond a bit with her granddaughter. Sometimes, she’ll bring fishes for us to make sure we’re properly fed, hmm…moms are moms. At least once or twice a week, my aunt who stays nearby will swing by our place to take care for NN2 while SL goes out to pick up NN.

Going this route also has given me a different perspective on the phrase “abundant blessing”. Most Christians will associate good things (eg. good job, good pay raise, new job with higher pay, the list goes on) coming their way as that. However, I’m glad we’ve so call “lesser” in terms of resources because now we’re even more conscious of relying on Him. As humans, we tend to forget about Him when we’ve abundant blessings.

Lastly but not least, going this route has help me contribute one fewer vehicle on the road because I rely on the LRT going to work and back home. 8-). Overall, not a bad change! The kids looked happy!

Parenthood

Recently, someone had asked me “How has parenting changed you?” and it has stuck to my mine since. So, I thought I should put down some thoughts.

It has given me a chance to experience a very little of what Jesus has experienced when he selflessly gave up His life so that we could have life. Yes, it has given me a chance to learn to be more selfless and more outward looking (going single-income for us is also a result of parenthood). Many married couples without kids, whom I’ve come across, dread the idea of having them. I think the crux of their fear is losing their “freedom”.

Even in the world of baby training, I believe many revolve around the parents, not the babies/kids. (Hmm, something is wrong with this picture. Shouldn’t babies get the attention?) Everything is marketed to lure parents with the carrot of convenience. It’s a sad truth but true. It is no wonder that when kids grow up, they conveniently forget about the parents. So, don’t blame it on the kids. Every problem has a root cause, get down to it.

Something someone else once mentioned to me which kept me trying to be selfless with my kids is; they grow up extremely fast, if you think that they’re troublesome now, you may not even have the chance to have them trouble you when they’re all grown up, even if you want them to. Before you know it, they’re out of your lives.

My word to couples without kids, don’t be too concern how things would turn out because you won’t know until you’re in it (did I hear you say that it’ll be too late then?). Again, it come to what I’ve always believe, that our younger generation has lesser and lesser tolerance to “hardship” (may not even be the right word, too exaggerating). I’m beginning to think of parenthood as some form of discipleship and Christ never promise that discipleship is a bed of roses. NEVERTHELESS, parenthood is one of the most fulfilling experience one can have, unless one is too selfish and engross with oneself.