Agape Home@Bkt Beruntung

Bukit Beruntung, also better known as Bukit Takuntung because of the high number of properties being auctioned off by banks and liveless town, lies an underprivileged children’s home run by a pastor and his wife. Our whole family visited them 3 weeks ago to see what these 2 people are doing there.

All these while, SL and I have been talking about doing something of outreach nature together as a family, something with a personal touch and something not done in a big group. Not until recently, SL met Pastor Henry and his wife at a parenting seminar organized by BLC. Since then, she suggested that we should go see what Pastor Henry is doing and see if we can be of any support to his ministry. Well, we procrastinated a while until after CNY that we decided to pay them a visit.

I must say that I was hesitant at first because I’m afraid of not knowing what to expect. I had to push myself (when better than doing it during the Lent season) out of my comfort zone. Though the drive may be long but we hoped that this is where long term relationships can be established.

I must say that I was very surprised by how well mannered these kids are. One of them, Sylvia, even knew how to take care of little EN so well that he was so “at home”. NN was quick to get acquainted with the elder kids as she always loves to have an elder brother or sister. NN2 is her usual sticky self to SL. We also listened to Pastor Henry’s “miraculous” stories of how they run the home. I also felt that I’ve made friends with the kids when some of them came to me and said “Hey uncle, come play la!” when I was resting after playing games with them.

We knew right away that this is something we wanted to do on a regular basis. Furthermore, as Pastor Henry said that it is quite common for people to give things, money, food, etc. but quite seldom giving their time to be with the kids. This visit has given me a chance to learn more about myself and also others who can be apart of my life as well. The distance is long but it is worth "going the distance".

'Hotel' Room

Of late, our little 3rd bedroom seemed to be like a hotel room. For the past 2 months or so, we’ve been having 4 guests.

The first was my mum who from time to time will put up a night or 2 so that she can spend some time with the kids.

The second was SL’s cousin who needed a place to stay following a fall-out with her boyfriend (she lives together with the bf).

The third was my grandma because my aunts went away for a short holiday and they needed someone to watch over the maid and my grandma.

The fourth and latest is SL’s cousin from Australia who is here for a business workshop in TPM. Well, don’t ask me why he didn’t choose to stay a hotel nearby because I was asking the same question as well.

Next week, it will be my in-laws because they’ll be here to apply for their US visas in preparation to visit SL’s sister in California, USA.

With so many guests pouring in, I’d definitely need to start work on painting the bedroom. I haven’t done anything to it yet since we moved in 2 years ago. The room is still in its original state right after some minor renovations. Yes, a procrastinator, I am.

Vicious Cycle

“The more you earn, the more you’ll spend”. This is usually true to most of us who are earning a living. Recently, my younger colleagues and I had conversations on moving on to “greener pastures”. They were complaining how it is so unfair for them to get so much lower than their peers. Therefore, one of them contemplates on moving on to a job which pays better. She said that she badly needed a bigger pay because of commitments (who doesn’t??).

However, I cautioned them that with more, one will tend to spend more. This is a very natural human tendency unless one is extremely disciplined. Before you know it, the cycle continues and in less than a year with the bigger pay cheque, you will again find the need for an even bigger pay, so on and so forth. That explains the high turnover in today’s IT industry, at least.

In short, manage your spending before it manages you. I once read that it’s not how much you can earn (since it’s an endless cycle) but how much you can save that matters most. “Live below your means” sounds so simple but yet so hard to achieve.

Birthdays & Anniversaries

We had the privilege of having our LiFE Group and my aunts and parents celebrate my birthday and our wedding anniversary with us on Saturday and Sunday respectively. With 3 kids to cope with, we had to opt for a simple celebration at home. It was my 33rd birthday and our 6th anniversary.

Late Sunday night after all the guests were gone, SL and I contemplated on our 6 years together and agreed that our relationship has gone from good to better in all aspects. It’s contrary to the general idea that after marriage, everything is downhill. Having said that, it is also not without hard work and determination to make this relationship work for the better, especially in this time and age where marriage is taken too lightly and divorce is getting more rampant.

My relationship with SL is more than just husband and wife. We consider each other best friends. How can we not be if we were to last a lifetime? If asked whether my relationship with SL or with the kids is more important, it’ll anytime be my relationship with SL. I believe we’ll raise healthier kids if our relationship is at its best rather than great relationships with kids and lousy with our spouses.

SL often felt bad for not able to get gifts for me during special events after she turned homemaker. I told her that that’s not what I’m looking for and that I love her more than ever. She has given me the greatest gift of all time by staying home with the kids to make sure that they get the best of attention. I’ve been called “domesticated” and “spoiling the market for guys” for taking care of household chores. Well, I don’t feel any less of a man by doing that. In fact, it’s my way of loving my wife everyday in a practical way and I’m proud of it.

Dryer

We got a new tumble dryer right before EN was born which is about 2 weeks ago. It’s been some time since we bought a machine to help make our lives a little easier.

If there’s a chore I hate doing most, it has to be laundry, especially the part where you’ve to hang them out to dry, 8-P. Not to mention the lack of space in a condo, the dust in the balcony and a little one to contribute more to the amount of laundry.

So, this investment is definitely worth the while. It has saved us time and SL will definitely need that when she will face 3 children all by her own next month.

Thoughts on Children

These 2 days I’ve been thinking why I would want to have 3 kids. I don’t even look old enough to be a dad in the first place. People are shocked that I’m even married, let alone a dad.

Some earlier generation folks may want kids so that they’ll be well taken care of when they’re old and frail. Some may have kids in the hope that they’ll be given monthly allowances when their kids turn working adults. Some specifically want boys to carry on their good name. Well, we all know that these ideals/expectations are often out-of-reach. So why have kids in the first place and put up with all the trouble of raising them to know that there is a good chance of not achieving the ideals/expectations. These expectations aren’t the best reasons to have kids. Worse still, it causes strained relationships between children and parents at times.

A textbook answer would be, it’s God’s command to us to multiply. Personally for me, it would be the same reason to get married in the first place, companionship. I would like to see this companionship grow into a small community. It’s also love that drove us to have kids. God created us out of love and it’s natural for us to want to extend this love to our own offspring.

I don’t expect anything of out my kids for bringing them up. Of course, we teach our kids to be responsible and hope that they’ll love us and appreciate us when it’s our turn to need attention and care. However, it is my belief that the onus is on parents to bring them up with unconditional love, not expecting anything in return. It’s great if they’re grateful and decide to return the favour. If not, let’s remember that kids didn’t ask to be brought into this world, as unpleasant as it may sound.

Baby EN

Last night before going to bed, I was up for 40 hours straight. To say that I’m exhausted is a gross understatement. Furthermore, NN was having high fever after coming home from visiting SL in the hospital. I had my hands really full but thank God for my in-laws who were around.

It all started when SL and I were about to go to bed on 13/11 around midnight. Then, the contractions started to be more consistent. After 1 hour, we decided to call in my mum and aunt to look after NN and NN2 while we make our way to the hospital. That was around 1.45am on 14/11.

While at the hospital, we thought it would be a quick affair as it was already 3cm dilated. Minutes and hours went by and it was still 3cm dilated. SL’s doctor came in around 9+am and decided to start the induction to quicken the process. That was around 10.30am. Minutes and hours went by and again there was little progress. The pain is starting to be unbearable. At 2.30pm, the doctor checked and it was only 4cm dilated. We were all puzzled because after 12 hours in the labour room and 4 hours into the induction, we’ve only got 1cm progress. The baby’s head just wasn’t engaging into the pelvic.

At around 3pm and some discussions with the doctor, we decided that SL should go for C-section. Within the hour, baby EN came into his new world measuring 52cm and weighing in 3.42kg at around 3.45pm. I was in the operating theatre the whole time with SL. It was a whole new experience for me, though there were some moments of anxiety after I saw how baby EN was handled by the doctors. God is good and He is all-knowing because when baby EN was out and before the umbilical cord cut, all of us immediately knew why the natural delivery just didn’t happen. Yes to those of you who guessed it, the umbilical cord was around his neck 2 times!! There was no way he is coming out of the birth cannel. We thank God that we opted for the C-section procedure before it was too late. We thought we had a stubborn baby but it was something that was holding him back. Baby EN, welcome into your new world!!